My goodness, what a beautiful weekend we had.

The weather was perfect for lots of patio sittin’ and outside activities!

Justin and I spent most of the day on Saturday working on projects around the house. He mowed the front yard while I painted our front door, and Jack watched us from the comfort of his bouncy seat.

Our door has needed some attention for months now (since Justin scraped off what was left of a “Hello” decal left from the previous owners).

A fresh coat of black paint, a cute basket, and some dried eucalyptus stems is all it took to breathe new life into our old door.

Before …

After …

Our Sunday was spent outside enjoy the 85-degree weather from our patio!

I realized on Sunday, though, that I am exhausted. I told Justin that it’s the kind of exhaustion that can’t be fixed with an afternoon nap.

I am exhausted — mentally drained — from worrying about keeping my newborn infant safe during a global pandemic.

Jack was 6 weeks old when our state issued its stay-at-home order, and I have been a ball of nerves since then. Worrying about him becoming sick, my husband becoming sick, or myself becoming sick; frantically wiping down packages and groceries when they’re delivered; being scared to even step outside our front door; having to keep friends and family away when all we want to do is share our son with them … It’s all too much.

This is not normal. Mothering a newborn during a pandemic is not normal. And it is not supposed to be like this. Becoming a mom — and having an entire new life that is solely dependent on you for survival — is frightening enough.

In between painting, playing with Jack, and enjoying the sunshine as a family, the magnitude of the situation we’ve been living in for the last 7 weeks caught up to me this weekend. By Sunday night, I felt absolutely defeated.

Here’s to hoping we can resume some trace of normalcy soon. And not so I can get a haircut or go to the beach (or the dozens of other things folks are complaining they can’t do).

I just want to go back to raising my brand new baby without fear of contracting an extremely contagious and deadly disease. That is all.

I don’t want to end this weekend’s roundup on such a heavy note, so here are some sweet photos from playtime with Jack.

Until next week, friends.

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