Jack David |
Sunday, Feb. 2, 2020 |
9:06 p.m. | 7 pounds, 4 ounces, 21 inches long
Fresh 48 photography by Summit + Co.
Jack’s birth story can be summed up in one phrase: “It didn’t go as planned and that’s OK.”
Understanding that things can change quickly in labor and delivery, I actually did not have much of a birth plan. Really, I had a wish list of how I hoped Jack’s arrival would go:
- Only Justin, myself, and doctors/nurses in labor and delivery (if you weren’t involved in creating the baby or weren’t helping get him out, you weren’t invited)
- Skin to skin contact immediately
- Delayed cord clamping
- Natural birth was the ultimate goal but if I got to a point I couldn’t handle the pain, I would take an epidural
After being put on Pitocin to increase the strength of my contractions (negating natural birth), two failed epidurals (if I was already on Pitocin, might as well have an epidural), the use of the vacuum to get Jack out because his heart tones kept falling when I pushed, and no delayed cord clamping because of the amount of blood I lost during delivery, I suppose you could say my wish list was completely dissolved.
Now, knowing that, let’s go back to the Monday before Jack entered the world because that’s really where his birth story begins.
At that point I was two days from my due date, I hadn’t dilated past 1 cm, and Jack hadn’t moved down at all since the doctor began checking my cervix four weeks prior.
I felt defeated; like my body wasn’t doing what it should be doing. My mental state was deteriorating, I was uncomfortable, and I was stressed.
At my weekly check up that Monday after checking my cervix and considering that my blood pressure had been elevated at my last couple of appointments, my doctor scheduled an induction for the following Monday (Feb. 3).
She still wanted to give my body a chance to go into labor naturally since that is what is safest, but she also explained that going past my due date without making any progress toward labor and with my blood pressure being unstable was a sign that medical intervention was necessary.
The plan was for me to return for an office visit and ultrasound Monday morning to check my cervix one more time and check on the welfare of the baby via ultrasound before induction.
Then, we would check into the hospital that evening at 5 p.m. to begin the induction process.
My doctor explained that it would be a slow process that would take several days because I wasn’t dilating on my own. They would start me on a cervical ripening medication that night after being admitted to the hospital, let it run its course over night, and then check me again in the morning to see if the medication was working or if I needed a different cervical ripener.
She said they would start Pitocin once my cervix was “favorable” (meaning I was dilated, thinned out, and the baby had moved down).
She was very open and honest with us and explained that we should also prepare for a c-section because the less favorable your cervix is at induction, the more likely you are to require a c-section.
While I was happy to have an end in sight, I also was really disappointed and discouraged that this was the plan.
I just wanted my body to do what it was supposed to bring our little guy into the world.
I spent that week at home making final preparations for his arrival while also walking, sitting on a yoga ball to open my pelvis, eating spicy food … doing ALL the things to induce labor naturally.
None of those old wives tales worked, though. Well, until Saturday morning (two days before my scheduled induction) when I woke up with contractions. They were irregular but they were strong.
Justin and I had made plans to go out to a big breakfast that morning. We love eating breakfast out on Saturday or Sunday mornings and knew this would be our last one before we became a family of three.
I ended up waking him up a little earlier than usual that morning so we could go eat. I told him I had been having contractions but they were irregular, and I wanted to eat right away in case we needed to go to the hospital.
At breakfast, I started having stronger contractions and hot flashes soon after we ordered our food. Justin and I even joked that if I was going into labor, we weren’t leaving the restaurant until after we ate breakfast.
We made it through our meal and went home to relax for the day. By relax, I mean we binge watched “You” on Netflix.
Contractions continued throughout the day but their times were all over the place. They would go from 14 minutes apart to 20 minutes then down to 10 minutes. They weren’t consistent until about 6 p.m. when they hovered between 8 and 10 minutes apart for a couple of hours.
Justin and I ate dinner at home then I soaked in the bath, hoping to help progress any possible labor I might be in.
Around 11 p.m. my contractions eased off and became inconsistent again so I decided to get some sleep. I even thought there was no way we were going to the hospital that night.
Then, around 1:30 a.m. (shortly after Justin got in bed), the most painful contractions I had experienced yet woke me up. I laid in bed through three of them before I started timing them. Once I began timing, I realized they were consistently 8 minutes apart.
Not wanting to wake Justin up yet, I went out to the living room to lay on the couch and watch TV while I continued to time contractions. They held steady at 8 minutes apart, then 7 minutes, and then 6 minutes.
I thought holy moly, this was it!
Around 3:30 a.m. I got up to use the bathroom and discovered that I was bleeding pretty heavily. As a first-time mom this was scary. I didn’t know what was happening.
I immediately woke up Justin and told him I was bleeding (not just spotting) and that I was calling the doctor.
He jumped up out of bed and started getting ready in case my doctor wanted me to go to the hospital.
Sure enough, she did. The bleeding and minimal fetal movement earlier in the day concerned her, so she asked me to come in and get checked out.
By 4 a.m. that Sunday morning our bags were loaded in the car and we were out the door, not sure what to expect.
We got to the hospital at 4:30 a.m., and by that time my contractions had completely stopped (or so I thought). I even told Justin after they got us into a room that we would most likely be sent home. I was pissed.
I was even more angry after the nurse checked me and said I was still at 1 cm. I was certain we would be going home.
I spent about 30 minutes hooked up to the contraction and fetal heart rate monitors before the nurse came in and checked me again. Still, 1 cm.
At that point we had two options. We could walk around the labor and delivery floor for one hour to try to progress labor or we could go home.
I’m stubborn and don’t give up easily, so we walked.
After walking for the hour, we settled back into our room and waited for my doctor to come in and talk to us. It was already 6:30 a.m. and nearing shift change for the nurses and my doctor.
Dr. B came in and was very up front with us. She said that since I was scheduled to be induced the next day anyway, she didn’t see the advantage of sending me home (unless I wanted to go home) only to have me come back the next day.
If I wanted to stay in the hospital and start the cervical ripener that day, she thought it would be a good idea.
Again, she explained that because my cervix wasn’t favorable for induction, it was going to be a long, multi-day process to get it there before we could start Pitocin. And even then, we could be looking at a c-section.
Justin and I talked it over and decided we would stay.
A little after 7 a.m. (after shift change) when my next doctor and nurse came on, I was officially admitted and we were anticipating what we thought would be our son’s very slow arrival.
My daytime doctor, Dr. G, was on board with the plan set by Dr. B to start the cervical ripener that morning. Before she started it, though, she wanted to check my cervix herself.
When she did, I was dilated to 2 cm and Jack had moved down some! With this glorious news, Dr. G told my nurse that we would skip the cervical ripener and head straight to Pitocin. This was music to my ears!
It was around this time that my nurse made a comment about the contractions I was having. I was still hooked up to the contraction monitor and was apparently having contractions every 3 minutes. I was baffled because I felt nothing. In fact, it had been hours since I felt a contraction.
How could I be having contractions so close together and not feel them?
My nurse explained that it was good I was contracting on my own but the Pitocin would make my contractions stronger so my labor would progress.
Once the Pitocin was rolling and I started feeling contractions again, my labor went really well for most of the day.
I received my first epidural early afternoon and my doctor broke my water shortly after.
Contractions came on hard and fast after that. Since I had an epidural, I couldn’t get out of bed so my nurse helped me lay in different positions to help progress my labor.
A little over an hour after my epidural was placed, though, I was still feeling every single contraction. My nurse said it had likely failed and asked if I wanted the anesthesiologist to redo it. I was adamant because I really did not want to go through the epidural process again while I was having such strong contractions.
To help me decide, my nurse checked my cervix again. I was still only 2 cm!
She then helped me roll over on my left side and placed the peanut ball between my legs to open my pelvis. She said this would be an intense position but would hopefully yield results. And it did!
In less than an hour I went from 2 cm dilated to 7 cm! Then quickly to 8 cm.
I decided to do the second epidural after talking it through with my nurse some more. Her recommendation, based on how much pain I was in, how tired I was, the fact that this was my first baby, and that we had no indication of how much longer I would be in labor before starting to push, was to get another epidural.
The anesthesiologist came in (again) soon after and my nurse held my sweating body against hers, coaching me to slow down my breathing during contractions while I sat hunched over on the edge of my hospital bed and had the second needle inserted into my spine.
I gripped this woman, who I had only known for a few hours, as tight as I could through the pain of each contraction while the anesthesiologist did her job.
I’m telling you, labor and delivery nurses are angels on earth. They see you (every inch of you) at your most vulnerable and cheer you on when you don’t think you can last one more second.
With my second epidural placed, I was hopeful I would have relief soon. Then, 20 minutes went by. And 40 minutes. And then an hour, and I realized that my pain wasn’t slacking off.
It was nearing 7 p.m. (shift change again), and my nurse and doctor were about to switch over for the night.
At this point, there was nothing else they could offer me for pain management other than nitrous oxide, which my nurse graciously set up for me. It worked for a little while but began making me feel sick so I stopped using it.
My nighttime nurse and doctor were officially on now, and I was feeling very strong contractions only seconds apart. The worst part was, I was still at 8 cm. My nurse commented when she checked my cervix, though, that she felt another bag of fluid and thought that might be what was holding up dilation. She tried to break it herself but couldn’t get it so she called the doctor in.
Sure enough, there was another bag of fluid and within minutes of my doctor breaking it, I dilated to 9 cm.
Then, only a few minutes after that (and after I asked my nurse to turn down my Pitocin to give me a little bit of relief between contractions), I felt the pressure everyone tells you, you feel when you need to push.
My nurse checked me again and I was at 10 cm!
She told Justin it was go time and got him and me ready to start pushing.
Nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing, can prepare you for how hard you have to push during delivery. And after being awake since 1:30 a.m. and being in active labor on Pitocin for hours without any pain relief, I was exhausted. So much so that I was dozing off between pushes.
I do remember looking up at Justin during this time and asking if he could see the baby’s head yet.
Once my doctor came in, I pushed a couple of times as hard as I could for her. Quickly, she was ready to break down my bed, change into her delivery gear, and get me through the final stretch.
I had been pushing for about an hour and a half when they started losing Jack’s heart tones on the monitor. I heard my doctor tell someone to get the vacuum ready. With it attached to Jack’s head, he was out with my next push.
They immediately placed him on my chest (where he has been camped out since) and he made the sweetest cries. Suddenly I was mama and Justin was dad and our entire world was changed.
I waited years to experience this exact moment. Finally, it was here and every struggle and ounce of pain we endured to get there was worth it.
I looked up at Justin, who had just watched his son’s entire birth, as he said “I love you. I’m so proud of you.”
I hope I never forget that moment; how the pain and chaos simply washed away as I looked into my husband’s eyes and I held our first child against my body.
That is the story of Jack and how he made his grand entrance. It wasn’t pretty and it certainly wasn’t what I imagined it would be, but it was the most incredible day of my life. Nothing compares to the moment you hold your child — the child you literally fought for from conception to birth — for the first time.
